The trans-formative power of forgiveness

January 9, 2019


FORGIVENESS - we all know how important it is to forgive others and ourselves.  We also know how extremely difficult it can be - much easier to put it off! 


But what if you had a  step by step guide on how to 'do' forgiveness written by an esteemed  author that has learned to forgive in some of the most heinous circumstances and has even made forgiving somewhat of an art? 


Guest Blogger, Christine Canino does a beautiful job of reviewing: The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu.


Christine: "Powerful! This book is a life changer. A paradigm shifter!"


Forgiveness is so important and something that is at times hard to get our heads around. We all know we have to forgive. Not forgiving can cause spiritual, mental and physical damage. It is important to get this forgiving thing right!


The book describes a four-step process of forgiveness:

  1. Telling the Story

  2. Naming the Hurt

  3. Granting Forgiveness

  4. Renewing or Releasing the Relationship

Each step is explained in detail with stories of actual events, exercises, journaling questions and meditations. The authors suggest very specific steps to guide us through the process.

For example, in the ‘Naming the Hurt’ step, it is important to realize that when we are hurt we often lose something. It is normal to grieve that loss and to walk through the steps of grieving. It is important to grieve and not deny the pain. If the grieving process is denied, it can lead to self destruction. By learning from the experience, we can let the experience transform us, not make us a perpetual victim.


 “Your suffering can embitter you or ennoble you, it’s your choice.”


How? The authors go on to explain that you can become a richer, deeper person by your suffering, especially when you help others with their suffering.


Perhaps surprisingly, the authors explain that it can be harder to ask a person to forgive you then to actually forgive. Much healing can occur when the wrong is admitted. If I choose NOT to admit my wrongs, they will haunt me. By admitting them and asking for forgiveness, only then I can move on to self forgiveness.


Forgiveness will transform the painful past into a hopeful future. I highly recommend this book for both learning how to forgive and for asking for forgiveness.


Another excellent book to add on your list for 2019 is by the guest writer of today's blog, Christine Canino.  Here is a blurb about her newest book, The Mediocre Catholic's Guide to Hearing God's Voice in Everyday Life 

 As we journey through life, God speaks to us in so many ways. Are we listening? Peek into Christine's life as she shares experiences and insights into the many ways God speaks. Are you listening through family, friends, and co-workers for the messages God is sending you? Do you see His love for you in nature and the beauty all around? Learn about the barriers that keep us from hearing the many things God wants to say. Grow in forgiveness, reconciliation, and prayer. See God's movement in your life. Experience a new direction, purpose, and peace. Join Christine as we learn to hear God in our crazy, busy, everyday life.


In addition to being an accomplished writer, Christine is a wife, mother, and 3rd Order Carmelite.  She created Spirit of Catholic Success to facilitate growth in all areas of life: spirit, mind, and body.    


Thank you Christine for sharing your powerful insights.


xoxo Lady Katherine

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© 2018 by YOUR EPIC LIFE.